Last night I watched the classic, The Breakfast Club. I’m a little embarrassed to say that I hadn’t seen it before then. And maybe because I was barely paying attention but for the first half of the movie, I really questioned why it was even made. The plot seemed uninteresting and slow. But as I continued to watch the characters develop, I quickly retracted my statements.
My friend Keila is like the therapist I never thought I needed but glad I have. Today she randomly sent me a text message asking why she had to find out about my latest venture through the internet. No real answer there except that I was sorry. But knowing that I have her support regardless really lit up my somber day.
We moved on to gchat to fully catch up. I tell you, not even fifteen minutes into the conversation, I was literally reaching for my Kleenex. Keila has an introspective way of communicating that always stirs me up. She’s just that friend that encourages you to wholly embrace whatever it is that you’re feeling. Which, at times, can be very awkward.
We talked about life choices, love, purpose and other not so fun adult stuff. It reminded me of an article I read earlier about adulthood. It’s never easy realizing that you’re an adult. That there are certain choices you’re solely responsible for. That some journeys can only be traveled alone. That sometimes you have to struggle to get the things that you want. The article lists 24 painful things you must do as an adult. Here are my two cents.
In honor of National Women’s and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, Co-founders of The Red Pump Project, Karyn and Luvvie, decided to present an event around several U.S. cities. The Red Pump Project is a nonprofit organization that raises awareness about the impact of HIV/AIDS on women and girls.
To commemorate this day, I attended Cupcakes and Condoms, hosted by the Atlanta ambassador, Skyy Banks. We spent our afternoon mingling, chatting about sexual health and, of course, eating cupcakes.
Word for 2013: simplify.
-to make less complex or complicated; make plainer or easier
In 2012, I had all of these grandiose ideas that didn’t come to fruition partly because they were too complex for me to understand. One thing I’m sure of is if I’m confused, no progression will take place. My goal is to make everything less complicated this year. Take that idea, goal, vision, and/or desire, and explain what I want in ONE sentence. If it can’t be done or said simply, you’re doing entirely too much.
Wise advise that I received last year: just write. Critical for me as I have a lot of plans and projects to undertake. Less talking, more writing.
Do you have a word of theme for 2013???
While sifting through my 30+ unpublished blog posts, I came across one that I wrote it back in December of 2011. Not sure why I never hit publish. But after reading this post this morning, I just had to share this with you all. Enjoy.
I think I’ve always had in mind that nothing lasts forever. It’s kept me from taking things too personally and getting my feelings hurt. But I eventually did let my guard down and got hurt. But I reminded myself to learn from those experiences. Use them as teachers to guide me forward. To reflect and remember the good times. When you look at it that way, nothing really feels like a loss.
The danger in the relationships we form in life is in thinking that everything is permanent. We’ve all heard the saying, “the only constant thing is change.” Knowing this, I accept all that the universe brings my way in whatever form. I accept that absolutely NOTHING lasts forever. Not people, not marriages, not life. Everything is subject to change. And the quicker we acknowledge that, the easier it will be for us to accept the twists and turns in our lives. And the less hurt we will be by situations in life. Hopefully.
One of the truest quotes I’ve ever heard was concerning seasons. Every year, Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall come. Every year. And each year, each season is uniquely different. Do we ever question the seasons as to why they change? No. They have to. And so do we. Accept that. Sit with the “uncomfortableness” of it because it will make you feel awkward.
I remember one of the first times I attended a service at Destiny. I stayed after for one of the youth chats. We were split into groups with strangers. I don’t remember what we discussed but I remember telling a personal story. One of the girls, noticing my struggle, shared one of her own to comfort me. It touched me SO much, especially coming from a complete stranger. I never interacted with her after that day. I didn’t know her or anyone else in the group but I still felt a connection to her. I felt like that was my “moment” with her.
The moment we realize that life is fleeting, that nothing lasts forever and that we cannot control the future, is when we will start to savor each moment of life we’re given. Stop dwelling on what you don’t have control over.
I cannot waste another day not being happy with every single decision that I choose to make.
Take things one day at a time. Don’t promise me anything in the future. Promise me today. This very moment.
Nothing lasts forever. You live and then you die. That’s it. So live before you die.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON. . .
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are!
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part,
or at an inconvenient time, this person will say
or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met,
our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered.
And now it is time to move on.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON….
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons
things you must build upon in order to have
a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.” -The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I was reading The Daily Love this morning and the topic was about love, of course. In the post entitled ‘Do You Know What Love Is?‘, they define love as “UNCONDITIONAL acceptance of what is”. They go on to say that ” if we can’t accept something as it is, it’s VERY difficult to change or transform it.” And transformation is essentially the goal. When you love yourself enough to accept your flaws, you love yourself enough to work on changing them. The love must be there.
The idea is to ACCEPT how you are with NO changes. This is the starting point of transformation.
This is the part of the post that I really like: application.
We are asked to complete a phrase mentioning one (or more) of our perceived flaws. What is the one thing that you will learn to accept about yourself today? I’ll start.
“Even though I _____________, I completely and totally love myself.”
• Even though I am an emotional wreck, I completely and totally love myself.
• Even though I drool when I’m extremely tired and make my pillow stink, I completely and totally love myself. 🙂
• Even though I care too much sometimes, I completely and totally love myself.
• Even though I can be very lazy, I completely and totally love myself.
• Even though I over think and over analyze everything, I completely and totally love myself.
• Even though I worry, I completely and totally love myself.
• Even though I have moments of insecurity, I completely and totally love myself.
• Even though I doubt, I completely and totally love myself.
• Even though I am irrational and bull-headed at times, I completely and totally love myself.
Now, it’s your turn. Be honest with yourself.
For the times you didn’t think you were enough…
Thank you, Girl Leadership.