A woman cave

Lets face it: if a man must live with a woman, he’s going to want a space to call his own. A place of escape from the nagging and demands of doing humdrum tasks. He would escape to the infamous man cave. On the radio this morning, they were discussing how men desire this space to do manly things. Just as men crave having a space of their own away from their spouses, so do women.

create your own

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At your best, an mvl conversation

Over the weekend, I attended the event of my friend Katrice  (My Vicarious Life). In an effort to start the conversation about living our best lives, Katrice had a panel of three women who she deemed successful. They shared with us their journey and left us with wonderful words of encouragement on pursuing our dreams.

Kudos to Katrice and to a successful event!

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13 places to visit before i die

The best part of the new videos on Instagram is being able to see live shots from places I could only dream about visiting. In my heart, I am a wanderer. Working hard only to give it all away in rent money has never been an ideal situation for me. I’d much rather save all of my pennies and spend all of it on experience. And everyone knows that traveling is the best teacher 🙂 If I had all the money in the world, I would get lost around this magnificent world forever and ever. Unfortunately, I can’t right now. I’ve been blessed to have visited Belize, Bahamas, London, Germany and Nigeria. Now, I’ve started saving for my trip to Thailand next year. Yay. But I still daydream about the other places I want to visit, too. In no particular order…

1. Maldives Islands – an isolated oasis of peaceful bliss. About 500 miles from Sri Lanka and Heaven, basically.

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No regrets

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I pride myself in not having many regrets in life. But as I get older, I’m finding that I’m becoming more cautious. In my early twenties, I threw caution to the wind. Now, anything you say will be researched for honesty and authenticity. I question motives. I question intent. I question whether someone has my best interest at heart or whether they are self-serving.

There are things that you can control and then there is just life. You don’t know what will happen. You can’t control it. You can only go with the flow.

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What do you love

I came across this series on the GOOD website and I am in LOVE. I love being inspired by the simple things in life that make people happy. The things that give us life, energy, excitement…those things are inspiring to me. In the What Do You Love video series, different people share their passions, inspirations and loves. Man, I wish I would’ve come up with this genius idea first.

Here’s one of my favorites:

What do you love? What inspires you?

FBFF on a thursday

FBFF: Sweet dreams are made of these

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So this post is from a few weeks ago. I felt like the topic was too good not to write about it.

Dreams. I’m a daydreamer. It’s what I do all day. So when I can share my dreams and aspirations with others, I just do it! Who knows, someone out there is reading and is looking to make my dream a reality 🙂

 1. Fess up – if you could do anything professionally what would it be?

There are so many things I know I can do well with the proper training. But if I had the money, I’d start my own organization for young girls focused on the arts: dance, music, writing, painting, drawing, doodling, singing, cartwheeling, WHATEVER.

2. What draws you to this?

Honestly, every time I listen to one of my favorite artists, India Arie’s music. It’s positive. It’s encouraging. It’s motivating. It’s love. It’s everyhing that I’d like to give to a young girl.

Every time I see a young girl who is lost, it pains me. A child that has been molested, discouraged, misguided, naive, gullible….it all reminds me of me. The more I think about it, the more my heart swells and tears well in my eyes. This is how I know that being in the midst of young girls is my calling. Because I can feel it.

3. When did you first start dreaming about this ideal?

Hmmm…..strongly, I’d say about a few months into starting this blog last year. I wrote this post speaking on that epiphany moment. At the time, I was going back and forth with the idea of returning to school for my Master’s but it never felt like the right choice. I didn’t even know what I would have studied!

4. What’s holding you back from going all in?

Fear. Plain and simple. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that you haven’t failed if you’ve tried, the fear itself is enslaving.

5. Sometimes the first step is the hardest… what’s one step you can take now on the way to realizing your dream?

Work. I don’t give up. I’ve been working and building my network. I’ve spoken to my mentors who keep me focused. I have friends that reassure me of my greatness. And I believe that God created me with a purpose. Slowly but surely, my dreams will come true.

To read more of these posts, visit Modly Chic.

Five reasons why I love mama oprah

For 25 years, Oprah has brought us viewers into her living room to talk. And we discussed everything: controversial subjects to funny ones that made you cry from laughing. For 25 years, Oprah has been the face and voice of those who didn’t have the privilege of having such a platform. For 25 years, she gracefully delivered heart-felt stories about everyday people.

“Understanding that one principle, that everyone wants to be heard, has allowed me to hold the microphone for you all theses years with the least amount of judgment.”

I’m very sad to see her show go but I’m glad she left while she was still hot. Classy. Yet I can’t help but think how daytime tv will never be the same without her usual 4pm EST slot. Although I was not able to consistently watch her show, I’ve always admired her, specifically for five reasons:

1. Her work ethic. Can you believe for 25 years she’s never missed one day of work? Talk about a drive to succeed. And that she did.

2. Her compassion. Oprah has given millions of her money to charity. As a humanitarian, she gave opportunities to young girls in Africa and across the globe the chance to educate themselves amongst many other good works. She helped young men attend college at Morehouse. And she will give her money away when she dies. She is truly the mother of many. To live your entire life as a servant is remarkable and deserves acknowledgment.

3. Her private nature. I don’t care what anyone says but as a high-profile celebrity, you really should be careful with how much information you divulge to the media. The tabloids have spun so many malicious stories regarding her weight, her sexual relations with her best friend Gayle and her life long partner Stedman. It makes me angry that people who have nothing better to do would criticize her personal life as if what she does behind closed doors is any of their business. Why is what she chooses to do anyone’s business is beyond me. Whom and how she chooses to love is under the direction of three people: her, her lover and her God. I admire the fact that amidst all the hatred and backlash, she stood her ground and kept her private life private.

4. Her transparency. Although some things should remain private, there
is a bit of transparency needed in order to connect with your audience. She was very personable. Oprah’s story is not one that has not been heard before. Black girl growing up in the back woods of Mississippi. But hearing it come from someone with the spirit like Oprah makes it all the more amazing.

5. Her humility. She could have changed who she was. She could have done a reality show. She could have told everyone her business and flaunt how much money she makes. She could have had a horrible ego. But if she did any of that, no one would like her. Be humble or be humbled.

“People often ask me, What is the secret of success of the show? How have we last 25 years? I nonjokingly say, ‘My team and Jesus.'”

If I ever got to meet her, I’d simply hug her and say thank you for being who you are.  Thank you for being just who God intended for you to be.

“Start embarcing the life that is calling you and use your life to serve the world.”

To read her final show transcript (or to have it as a keep sake as I have), click here.

Speak those things

This morning when I woke up, my first thought was “I wish every Monday was a holiday”. Then I started complaining to myself about how sleepy and drained I was. But if I had Monday off, I wouldn’t do anything. I’d just sleep. Then I started thinking about how I’ve wasted most of January napping. None of this thinking was positive and I hated it.

I believe God spoke to me and said, “Speak those things that be not as though they were.” I knew that was a scripture but I couldn’t think of where it came from, so I googled it. Turns out it comes from Romans 4:17. Now I’m not here to preach, just to share my experience this morning. This scripture is talking about God calling Abraham to be a “father of many nations”. Abraham was very old and I’m sure he knew it would only be a miracle from God to be able to produce any children. But because he believed, God made it so. I applied my complaining to this verse and got a whole different meaning. Whatever I put out in the universe can and will come to pass by God. So be careful what you speak. Make sure that the words you say are positive so that they do not negatively affect your life. We complain about the smallest of things and then get angry when God takes them away from us.

I’m glad I have a job because I know that the eight months when I did not have one were pure hell. No more complaining for me today.

And Jesus answered them, “Have faith in God. Truly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says will come to pass, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11: 22-24