“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end.” -Unknown
I absolutely did not want to get up for work this morning. I did not want to get dressed or brush my teeth. Or do my makeup. I did not want to make that one hour-long commute. Of course I begrudgingly did all of those things.
I’ve been in a very introspective mood lately. Really, I always am. Always over-thinking, always over-analyzing and always observing. It’s exhausting! Despite all of that, I had a pretty good weekend. Spent time with friends: eating, drinking and laughing until we couldn’t stand it. And I loved it. But there’s always that moment after it’s all over when you retreat back to your thoughts. Back to reality.
Yesterday after work, I went home, took a nap and woke up restless. The sun was out being annoyingly bright. I got up with the intent to do yoga but I always forget the moves so there’s that. Then I decided to take a walk but I didn’t feel like being chased by a dog. So, I went to the small airport by my house just to watch the sunset and ruminate over different aspects of life.
We are not entitled to anyone’s love.
We are not entitled to anyone’s friendship.
We are not entitled to anyone’s professionalism, courtesy, consideration or admiration.
We are not even entitled to life.
Receive it all in gratitude.
Tomorrow is not promised.
Every time I visit Jada Pinkett-Smith’s page on Facebook, I receive a message crafted just for me. Jada has a way of using her introspective thoughts to connect with all of her readers. I love and admire the caution she takes in analyzing every experience, gaining peace along the way.
I read the post above and thought, wow, you’re so right, Jada. Although I knew the information already, it just hit a little closer to home for me.
How often do we feel like people owe us everything? We feel like our family owe us love; our friends owe us time; our colleagues owe us respect; our partners owe us love and admiration. In an ideal world, we would get everything we wanted. But in this life, you can’t control any of it, only your response to it.
So, you can choose to be upset when people don’t acknowledge you, when situations don’t go your way, or when someone doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved. Or…you can accept that you’re not entitled to any of those things. That way, when you do unexpectedly receive whatever it is that you desire, you will be grateful for it.
Let go of the need to control the outcome and start appreciating what is in front of you right now.
Saturday night, we watched as the verdict of “not guilty” flashed across our TV screens. We experienced, to a certain degree, the sadness that Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulton felt as the murderer of their son was set free. Actually, we can’t really imagine what they must have felt. What they just experienced was the death of their son for the second time. His entire existence made a mockery of in just a few of weeks of deliberation.
As long as we are persistent in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time. –Denis Waitley
The best part of the new videos on Instagram is being able to see live shots from places I could only dream about visiting. In my heart, I am a wanderer. Working hard only to give it all away in rent money has never been an ideal situation for me. I’d much rather save all of my pennies and spend all of it on experience. And everyone knows that traveling is the best teacher 🙂 If I had all the money in the world, I would get lost around this magnificent world forever and ever. Unfortunately, I can’t right now. I’ve been blessed to have visited Belize, Bahamas, London, Germany and Nigeria. Now, I’ve started saving for my trip to Thailand next year. Yay. But I still daydream about the other places I want to visit, too. In no particular order…
1. Maldives Islands – an isolated oasis of peaceful bliss. About 500 miles from Sri Lanka and Heaven, basically.
Last week, a friend of mine put this post in her Gmail status. Shortly after reading it, I came across this post amongst the blogs that I read. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that both posts speak true to how I’m feeling and have been feeling for a long time now. I am not happy. Waking up in the morning feels like a chore. Finding interest in people and things have become a burden. Foods that I use to love have lost their flavor. And tears? HA! I’ve cried more times this year alone than I have in my entire life, twice over.
But WHO wants to talk about that stuff? Who can you say those things to without feeling like you’re complaining or seeking sympathy? No one, really. But I’m choosing to tell you all today for vulnerability’s sake. I don’t wake up every morning with birds singing sweet songs in my ears. I’m not excited about much of anything anymore. I feel like a complete stranger to myself. That’s not the kinds of things people want to hear. But it’s my truth for the moment.
After reading those posts, I felt like I should be honest with you all. I know that my writing has changed because I don’t feel 100% like myself. That isn’t fair to you as a faithful reader. I appreciate you so much. So here goes.