I’ve come to the realization that I am indeed unhappy with my life. As much as I try to remain in a perpetual state of happiness in all things, the pretending is wearing me down. I’m not even gonna waste my time trying to figure out when I lost it. I don’t know. What I do know is that several times within the last few weeks, I’ve experienced “I don’t care” moments. Not caring is a dangerous place to be in because you’re liable to react in ways that you may regret later on.
The fact that I can’t pinpoint the exact source of my unhappiness really unsettles me. At this point, I really just want to give up. Expressing this openly is hard because I never know who is reading my blog in search of some inspiration. Today, it just might let you down. I’m human.
All I am certain of is this: I am unhappy and I have to do something about it.
PS. I just realized that I skipped dinner. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Now eating rice and goat. Yes. At almost two am. Yup, I have to be up at 5:30 am EST. I’ll worry about that when it comes. This food is an instant mood lifter. Oh, and Haitian music. Carimi. ^___^