late night thoughts

I’ve come to the realization that I am indeed unhappy with my life. As much as I try to remain in a perpetual state of happiness in all things, the pretending is wearing me down. I’m not even gonna waste my time trying to figure out when I lost it. I don’t know. What I do know is that several times within the last few weeks, I’ve experienced “I don’t care” moments. Not caring is a dangerous place to be in because you’re liable to react in ways that you may regret later on.

The fact that I can’t pinpoint the exact source of my unhappiness really unsettles me. At this point, I really just want to give up. Expressing this openly is hard because I never know who is reading my blog in search of some inspiration. Today, it just might let you down. I’m human.

All I am certain of is this: I am unhappy and I have to do something about it.

PS. I just realized that I skipped dinner. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Now eating rice and goat. Yes. At almost two am. Yup, I have to be up at 5:30 am EST. I’ll worry about that when it comes. This food is an instant mood lifter. Oh, and Haitian music. Carimi. ^___^

4 thoughts on “late night thoughts

  1. Ms. Lucy!!! This was me most of last year. I still have these moments and they are in fact very dangerous… Embrace it… It will make the great days even greater. Know that God is with you through it all!

    You are a beautiful young woman with a spirit that radiates from your words and pictures. Don’t let this situation beat you. You are a conqueror!!!

    Remember, you came to win! Win at life and tell whatever those feelings are to leave!

    You have too much to live for. (I’m talking to myself, too!)

    This too shall pass. And once it does you’ll look back upon it and praise God for getting you through.

    Sepia

  2. I agree with Sepia wholeheartedly. There are times in life when we will feel unfulfilled, but that doesn’t mean that that time is not purposeful. You have to sit with it and continue to have that positive attitude, but don’t worry too much when your positivity feels stretched to its limits. It’s all part of the journey.

  3. Lucy! Don’t let life get you down. You are young, beautiful and gifted. Above all else, you are a woman that aims to seek God first. I pray that you’ll be able to turn that frown upside down =)

  4. Sephia, you are a GEM! I truly appreciate all of our comments on my blog. This too shall pass, indeed.

    GG, I’ll remember my cup of positive tea tomorrow 🙂

    Krystal, looong as I got king jesus! lol

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