Tonight the pastor asked us how we felt when we first gave our lives to Christ. Some people said they were thirsty for knowledge and intimacy. Others said they felt joy. I honestly don’t remember how I felt at 14 years old. I do know how I felt when I experienced love from men.
I was thinking about it earlier and I’ve realized that my relationships were always comfortable. I got comfortable too quickly. Next thing you know I was playing the role of a girlfriend without entitlement. And that felt fine…until it didn’t. I realized my issue wasn’t in getting a man. Men would approach me but it always ended with them leaving me for someone else. I tried out for the part but I didn’t make the final cut. I’m so used to that happening that I expect it now. To the point where I’ve convinced myself that I’m okay with those types of relationships. The ones that don’t lead to anywhere but are comfortable for the moment.
Anyway what I’m getting at is this: none of these loves, last. I’ve come so far from the one that loved me in spite of. Until I return to Him, I will forever be searching for my love. The pastor spoke on Revelation 2: 1-4. The footnote in my Bible says, “The letter to the church in Ephesus addresses tradition-bound Christians who are faithful but have lost their early, zealous love for Christ and for each other”. Verse four says, “You have forsaken the love you had at first” which literally means you have lost your first love. That’s a pretty scary and it’s a place I wouldn’t like me or any of you to be in.
If you find that you can’t even remember how it used to be…you should return to your first love.
As I was in the car, I started singing the Kirk Franklin song, First Love. How appropriate for the message of tonight. I hope it speaks to you like it did to me. Be encouraged.