If you don’t have anything nice to say…

I’m going to address this subject once and never again.

One of the things that I hate the most hearing about is haters. What the heck is this haters business about? It’s so tiring and a slightly paranoid behavior to think that people are always talking about you. How did we become so big that everyone needs to have our names on their lips? And what right does it give someone to degrade the good work another person is doing? What purpose does it serve?

When I was growing up, I had an attitude quite typical of most girls in South Florida. You couldn’t tell me anything. I mean young and old people alike. Not outright rude but I could get there if necessary. I just had the “Florida face” as my Georgia friends call it. I may not have been the nicest to some people. In my mind, I was always nice.

You never know how you’ve offended someone until they point it out to you.

I’d like to think that I am a nice person now. I don’t remember what I may have said or done to offend someone in my youth. Heck, I can’t remember what I did yesterday. The point is, people who are accused of being offensive may not even know they are doing it. All the while you’re burning inside.

What I want to touch lightly on is the issue of self awareness and self esteem. I’ve struggled with both coming up. Yes, people told me I was pretty bla bla bla. But you can only be pretty on the outside if you feel pretty on the inside. At some point in my life, I did not. But your “haters” don’t want to hear that. They want to make you feel low because at some point you made them feel low. It’s a level of immaturity and cowardice that disgusts me. We don’t have time to waste bringing people down! Why waste time and energy doing so?

A lot of our young women today have self esteem issues that stem so far deep but yet we choose to continue to bring each other down by saying hateful things. Have I said mean things to people in my life? Yes! Do I regret them now that I know better? Yes! Will I continue in that immature manner? NO. Why? IT DOESN’T SOLVE ANYTHING.

Ladies:

I want you to be so confident in yourself that you won’t allow someone to bring you down. Surround yourself around people that don’t feel the need to degrade how you feel. Don’t tolerate someone mistreating but handle it in the proper manner. Hate is everywhere. The more you do the good work, the more hate will come your way. Know who you are so that when someone tries to tell you who you are not, you can kindly tell them they have the wrong person.

The saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. I’ll go one step further and say, if you don’t have anything nice to ADD, just be quiet. If you see something wrong with someone, HELP THEM. Don’t tear them down. Offer constructive criticism or an alternative solution.

I’m rambling at this point but I just wanted to address this to that one special person who keeps trying to remind me of who I was [see this post and this post]. I don’t know who you thought I was honey but that ain’t me.

11 thoughts on “If you don’t have anything nice to say…

  1. i totally agree with what you wrote. but i feel like you are ignoring the fact that you have hurt ppl in the past. this “new and grown ” lucy that u say u now are, the ppl in ur past have never met her. so all they know is the miss stank lucy. just keep that in mind

    • I’m really not trying to ignore anyone. No one has come with their real names and saying what I’ve done to them. That’s how issues are addressed and resolved. I’d LOVE to do that but I keep getting anonymous posts. Why?? Let’s talk about who I was but let’s also talk about who I am and what I’m doing now. Otherwise, what’s the point of bringing up the past? Is it helping the present situation? How can it help the present situation? Do I need apologize? Is that what whomever is looking for? If not, what? I’m honestly trying to understand.

      Let’s remember, people have purposes in our lives and some are not meant to be there forever. There is a time and season for everything and perhaps are season has long gone.

      At the end of the day my point will remain: going foreward, it does not make sense to criticize good work. Let’s help one another.

  2. I absolutely loved your post. And i appreciate it even more, being a subject that it not brought up very often. I think that sometimes you get carried away and make mistakes but people should always keep in mind that being offensive will not bring any good.

    • Thank you, Luana. My objective was not to offend or make light of how I may have treated others in the past. I’d love to apologize for anything I’ve done wrong. People change. I’m not 12 anymore. Let’s address issues and move forward.

  3. i agree with you lucy. i was just tryin to let you see another perspective. im glad you have grown and learned just like everyone else should. im glad i know the present lucy because this back in the day lucy sounded kinda mean lol

  4. why are you using this situation as an excuse to how u treated ppl in the past? u have haters because you brought it upon yourself. these ppl arent haters. they would be haters if they didnt like you for no reason but they have reasons. stop playin victim and face the facts. you werent very nice and obvioulsy you have hurt ppl. maybe u are different now but you cant run away from your past

  5. Ok, I think I’m gonna stop approving your comments.

    FYI: Amanda or Tracy, know that I know you keep writing from this “laughingisfun@yahoo.com” email. Do a better job at changing your “name”. I’m gonna go out on a whim and say you may be bipolar because one moment you’re agreeing with me and in the next moment you’re using another name BUT USING THE SAME EMAIL. My stats tell me everything. So either agree or disagree with me or stop writing.

    I do not have haters but you might be crazy enough to be one. Stop writing.

    Stop refreshing my blog page. You’re obessing.

    I love my past and present. I’m not running away from anything. I am an open book. My name is clear. Yours is not. Reveal yourself or stop writing.

    You might also be Karen. Stop writing.

    If I hurt you in the past, you probably have my phone number. You’re probably the person that called and texted me the other night. Leave a detailed message so that we can communicate as adults or STOP WRITING.

    STOP WASTING YOUR TIME AND MY FINGERS TO APPROVE THESE MESSAGES.

  6. Pingback: 2010 top posts | Miss Lucy's Blog

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