Yesterday as I was perusing Facebook as I usually do in the mornings (blame the detective in me) when I noticed some photos in my minifeed. It was of a friend of mine and a young lady, who happens to be pregnant in the photo. I noticed how they were standing next to each other. I noticed how snug his right hand was on the small of her waist. I notice their gentle loving smiles. The detective in me said to click on the album and see what was going on. Hmmm….looks like a baby shower. Wait a minute!!!….well, basically, I found out through Facebook that my friend is about to be a father, if not already. Needless to say, I was very shocked. Maybe not so much that he was becoming a father (I mean, we are hitting that age) but because I used to like him way back when. This news, along with other news of men that I used to fancy getting girlfriends, being in love, or getting married kinda put me off a little bit. How is it that these women are sealing the deals that I never could? My conclusion: I’m not a “Ride or Die” girl.
Ride or Die – Ace HoodEven though I’m in the streets,
You know exactly what I do
When I chase this paper, you ain’t gotta wait for me to bring it back home to you
Cause I ride or die girl we gon be good
And if you ride or die we gon make it out this hood
The Urban Dictionary (yes, this does exist, I googled it) states that the Ride or Die chick is “a girl who is down for her man in any situation. a girl who’s not afraid of throwin down side by side with her man, even if she’s the only female. she’s the girl who rides in tha passenger seat with tea heat ready on her lap & knows all the targets. a ride or die chick cooks for, cleans for, and entertains her man by any means neccessary.”
My image of a Ride or Die chick would be one of ghetto proportions. The 2010 Bonnie and Clyde, South East Atlanta edition. The chick that pops her gum in public. The chick that wears Bronner Brothers Hair Show styles on a daily basis. That’s the image that comes to my mind. But clearly, you don’t have to be all of that to be a Ride or Die chick.
I was interested in someone for three years (yup, count em). Some time recently, he was a little perturbed at me because I wouldn’t drop my already scheduled plans to hang out with him. He assumed that I was a Ride or Die. O_O So because I won’t drop my plans, I don’t get the girlfriend title hunh? My unwillingness to be down at all times is a character flaw? Does one need a title for the relationship before being deemed a Ride or Die? What are the qualifications of this position?
I don’t have the answers to these questions. All I know is I’ve been single since 2006. Since then, I’ve seen men come and go from my life. I put in lots of hours with them, via phone and in person. I’ve been there. But at the end of the day, I’m not going over and beyond if you’re not meeting me half way. And half way means exclusivity. I simply will not tolerate BS, disrespect or inconsideration. I’m pretty sure my days of acting like the GF but not really, are over.
Thoughts? Comments? Concerns?